I just wanted to give a nod to all the moms out there for the amazing work you do. If you’ve managed to keep your child alive and healthy while maintaining some shred of sanity, I curtsy to you. Today marks four weeks since I began my journey as a new mom and while there have certainly been immeasurable joys to outweigh any and all inconveniences, there’s also this absurd reality that has indefinitely become everyday life.
Like rarely having a moment to sit down to a proper meal. Or rushing through bathroom trips with an open door and a prayer on your lips that she won’t roll off the couch and become your Pomeranian’s afternoon snack just because you had to pee. Or even the half-lucid state that’s now become your “sleep” pattern in forty-minute increments, making you sport permanent luggage under your eyes. Nobody tells you what a luxury it will be to sit down to a meal with your husband rather than taking turns handing her off. Or how you’ll probably smell faintly of milk and poop even after you’ve showered.
But it’s also hard for anyone to prepare you for the fulfillment you’ll enjoy the minute she’s born and placed in your arms. Or how watching her smile for the first time will feel like you’re witnessing a miracle. It would’ve been hard for me to imagine a day when my own basic needs wouldn’t really matter because it’s all about her. Every little bit. But that’s the truth of it and nothing could be sweeter.
So I’m sleep deprived, a little disheveled, and mostly unsure of what day it is. And caffeine and wine are interchangeably my essential methods of hydration. But I’ve somehow managed to create a tiny person that’s half me and half the love of my life. And that has been the most amazing thing.