Bad Brow Bandits

Brows - Anastasia Products

This is a rant against bad brows and the people who cause them. While I fully realize there are SEVERAL more important things I could be complaining about, being a new mom means I get about 30 seconds to make myself presentable these days and I’d rather not spend them drawing features that should already be on my face. So I request your indulgence in my lament as I currently have two skinny half moons framing my eyes, making me look like an angry Disney character every time I frown. And nobody likes an angry Mickey.

Living in Miami, maybe we’re all a little more image-conscious than most. Particularly when it comes to hair removal. It’s likely that we all have a go-to person for such a service. So as a born and bred beauty junkie, I’ve been chasing a skilled eyebrow expert from the age of 14 when the esthetician who popped my tweezer cherry shaped the two caterpillars on my forehead into two badly drawn upside-down Nike swooshes.

Since then, I’ve endured nineteen years of some great and some really awful brow shaping experiences and artists. The greats never seemed to stick around as they were often destined for said greatness and moved on to more glamorous client rosters. But the not-so-greats always left a lasting impression and have unfortunately become the norm. Like the lady at a Cuban-beauty-icon-owned salon who used to do a decent job but always felt it was her duty to tell me how I’d gained a few pounds and had to lose them if I was ever going to keep a man. Or the woman who worked at a salon I loved but was so emotionally unstable that she poured wax onto my lashes one afternoon as she vented about work. There was even a woman who swore she was professionally trained but somehow still managed to pluck holes into the center of my eyebrows. People like these drove me to trying my hand at home brow maintenance until I ended up waxing off my own right eyebrow when I got a little too confident with those pre-cut home waxing strips.

When I finally came across a girl who was able to maintain the shape my favorite stylist had groomed on me over the course of a year leading up to my wedding, she had a baby and decided to leave work, leading me to today’s desperate attempt at finding a replacement. And here I sit, waxed up to within an inch of my brows’ life with pockets and holes to fill on my face. So I high-tailed it to the nearest Anastasia counter, picked up a few tools, and brushed on what I hope are some friendlier looking brows.

Do you have a brow rant of your own? Got a brow expert that lives in Miami? Please share! I’m in need and there may be others like me out there. Friends don’t let friends have bad brows.

Tools: I picked up a few items to supplement my own beauty tools, but here is a great comprehensive kit in case you need a whole set. You can also purchase the brow stencils, tweezers, highlighter, and brow filler separately.



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