My visit to Christie Pea’s couldn’t have come at a better time, considering I was in serious need of brow therapy and a little me-time following two straight weeks of work/motherhood/work/work and work. I’m not complaining but rather just insisting that a glass of wine now and then (more now than then) while having your nails buffed is not just nice – it’s necessary for mental sanity. Which is why Christie Pea’s royal treatment (the Duchess, to be precise) and Lucy R.’s brow repair were exactly what I needed that afternoon.
A recent visit to brow expert Lucy R. confirmed what I’d suspected for some time now: Not only are my eyebrows disproportionately shaped; they’re also not even on the same level. They share completely separate longitudinal coordinates. If my eyebrows were trains featured in a math problem about intersection, they’d just run perpetually parallel past each other while waving goodbye. Which is why I’m now in what Lucy lovingly calls “brow rehab,” hoping to fix this issue once and for all. But until then, as my brows are slowly grown in and guided back to where they once were, I’ll be faking the perfect shape with the help of a few tools. Read on for an easy step-by-step tutorial on how to properly fill in your brows.
This is a rant against bad brows and the people who cause them. While I fully realize there are SEVERAL more important things I could be complaining about, being a new mom means I get about 30 seconds to make myself presentable these days and I’d rather not spend them drawing features that should already be on my face. So I request your indulgence in my lament as I currently have two skinny half moons framing my eyes, making me look like an angry Disney character every time I frown. And nobody likes an angry Mickey.