Tag Archives: Lokal

The Preggo Burger Tour of South Florida

Burger Tour of South Florida

I won’t pretend I didn’t have an overwhelming love affair with food prior to my expectant status. But I will say that what champagne used to do for me pre-baby, cuisine has temporarily filled in for quite nicely. And without any of the guilt, which is essentially priceless. Hence, the Great Pregnancy Craving Tour of Miami.

I have shamelessly paraded this bump around town and (mostly unknowingly) dripped all sorts of toppings upon it to put together a list of my favorite (and not-so-favorite) crave-inducing establishments. I’m starting with my longest-running obsession, burgers. Check out my picks. Did I miss any? What should I try next? Let me know your favorites.

Definition of Lokal

THE FAVORITES:

Elevation Burger – Simple, sustainable, organic, grass-fed, and free-range. If you’re a carnivore with a conscience (and a budget), there’s nothing better. Add a healthy list of toppings and a soda machine to blend any concoction to your whim and you’ve got the kind of place that’s made me go through a slew of frequent visitor cards. Slew!

Blue Collar – There isn’t enough I can tell you about this burger. I was newly pregnant at the time and discovering I’d developed the kind of appetite that would impress a wrestler. Enter the Real Juicy Cheeseburger Prime dry-aged New York strip on a Portuguese muffin with your choice of lettuce, tomato, and onions. I don’t think I spoke two words during that meal.

Crave – This is the kind of refined establishment where most (non-pregnant) people would enjoy a nice sushi lunch or a delicately balanced salad. But I had absolutely no shame in devouring their Crave Burger and licking my fingers while doing so. I’m happy to do it again, even in the finest company. With smoked cheddar, onion, and house-made pickles, this is definitely a winner.

Lokal – I’ve never strayed from the 50/50 (Fidy Fidy) burger. And I don’t think I’ll ever want to. Equal parts Florida ground beef and Florida ground bacon combine to make super amazing burger babies in your mouth. Served with mayo, Monterrey jack cheese, and a sweet onion marmalade, you also get a side of 50% sweet potato fries, 50% french fries with honey mustard dipping sauce that gives you quite possibly the most beautiful combination of ingredients a belly could want.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Latin House Grill – This little gem on Sunset has a menu full of crave-able items (Sneaky Nachos!). But if you’re having one of those days when you can’t really figure out what flavor you’re after, I recommend the Intl Muffin Tops. Two of those little guys have a big fill factor.

Red Robin – I had no idea what to expect from Red Robin. And then I learned about their Bottomless Steak Fries (that I, of course, dipped in ranch dressing). It was absolute kismet. I paired that with the Whiskey River BBQ Burger and happily groaned my full belly out the door.

Shake Shack – While I genuinely enjoyed their Angus burger (I had the SmokeShack), my heart was really much more set on their Flat-Top Dogs. I made a mess of that Shack-cago Dog and enjoyed every last bit of relish. Bring your pooch along to dine on the terrace and buy him his own treats for a small price.

NOT WORTH THE WADDLE:

Le Tub Saloon – This waterfront joint has a serious following thanks to being voted best hamburger by GQ Magazine as well as being placed on Oprah’s radar as one of her favorites. The burger itself was simple, tasty, and juicy but the downside for any preggo is that there will likely be a minimum wait time of 1.5 hours before you see any meat on your plate. My vote? Try it when you’re not as likely to dig into the person next to you with a fork & knife. Or sit at a safe distance from others and bring a snack for the wait.

CG Burgers – You only get one shot at dinner. You can deal with “ok” food for lunch because you still have a chance to make it up throughout the rest of the day. But when you have the kind of dinner that leaves you wondering what was missing, you just end up with a grouchy preggo that’s likely suffering from heartburn and an unfulfilled appetite. In this case, what was missing was a decent brioche and some basic seasoning. I wanted so much to like this place but two strikes is enough for me to know not to go for the third.

SmashBurger – This place just made me angry. I first take issue with their logo, a blatant rip-off of GameStop’s font and coloring. But bad branding aside, with a name like SmashBurger, you should really be making a sensational impression. Rather, the result of quite literally smashing your burger patties into submission before squeezing all the juice out of the poor things is what my Cuban grandmother often refers to as “suela de zapato”, or the leathery bottom of one’s shoe, for those not fluent in Cuban slang. But I retain that it’s more accurately articulated in Spanish. No need to stop here.

Note: Rok Brgr didn’t make the list because I only visited once and wasn’t too impressed but felt that maybe it was an off night. I think it deserves another shot before I pass judgement.

Lokal Love

In a cluster of vacant spaces and abounding conventionality sits Lokal, a respite for those of us who wish we lived in the kind of city this little joint portrays. Unassuming, unpretentious, and just plain cozy, Lokal is the kind of place where one can enjoy a seriously good burger and a healthy selection of craft beers with only the occasional hipster sighting due to the $2 PBR cooler out by the window. It’s this little haven that saved our evening from Miami’s suffocating moisture and my admittedly poor choice of wardrobe throughout the summer months.

Perhaps it’s my naivete or occasional spurts of optimism that drive me to sign up for “free” events only to arrive and find that I do, indeed, live in Miami, and not Utah, as my husband so articulately likes to remind me – and all that that implies. It was in this sporadic state of idealism that I signed us up for the Rock of Ages premier at the Paragon, to later show up and be reminded that there’s usually a price for “free” and it often consists of sweating in Miami’s unforgiving humidity and standing in line behind what can only be described as the unwashed guy’s oily secretions (it smelled exactly as it sounds).

In the interest of full disclosure, I feel that it’s important to tell you that I suffer from a condition, as yet unnamed, where I often find myself inappropriately garbed and completely unawares until I’ve arrived at my destination that I’ve dressed for an entirely different city. Such was the case last night when I showed up in what I thought to be a completely acceptable casual outfit of dark-washed denim, long-sleeved cotton top, and platform pumps (see below) when what I really should have been wearing was a mu-mu and some flip flops to more comfortably stand in line behind approximately 300 of Miami’s other hopeful movie-goers.

Chalk it up to optimism or sheer delusion. Maybe it’s some underlying M.O. to eventually move to a more seasonal climate. But the fact remains that I was born and raised in Miami and yet still own a wardrobe consisting (without exaggeration) of 60% fall/winter items. We lasted all of twenty minutes before my bangs were plastered to my forehead and my “cute casual outfit” felt more like a winter coat at the beach. Without a chance of getting into the premier before suffering possible dehydration by denim, we cut our losses and decided on dinner.

Walking back, we realized we were stuck in a tourist trap full of franchised fried food so we made for the car and braved rush-hour traffic for about ten minutes when Tony literally turned the car around and said, “Screw this. We’re going to Lokal.” God bless his heart for knowing that a good burger can save any night. It’s probably one of the reasons I married him.

It took only a few minutes and a couple of IPA’s (Deviant Dale IPA, Dogfish Rotating Taps Milton DE, and Lagunitas IPA) to turn the night around. That, a mouthwatering 50/50 burger, some gator strips with an un-posted garlic sauce (thank you, Ms. Bartender), and a genuinely friendly staff. And really, in this city or any, what more could you want?

I know I’m not the first person to cover this place. Far from it. But this post is just a simple thank you from the bottom of my heart – for not falling into the generic food scene this city has seen for too damn long. And for allowing my husband and I a simple night of great food, beer, and conversation. It shouldn’t be such a rare occurrence. But in our transient little city, it tends to be. So here’s to hoping Lokal remains a local favorite, no cliched puns intended. We really look forward to seeing you again soon.

 

 

 

 

P.S. I love a bar with purse hooks. You’d be surprised how many places overlook this essential little detail. Thanks again, Lokal. From the ladies in Miami with annoyingly large bags that we just can’t seem to get enough of.